Friday, October 2, 2009

Bittersweet

Audrey surpassed Fletcher in a motor skill this week. It was only a matter of time. She rolled over from supine to prone (back to front). It was amazing, thrilling, and, well, a little sad. It is crazy just how differently her body moves compared to Fletcher. It is just so easy.

I thought that prone to supine usually came first, but what do I know about typical development. Trevor was on a trip, so I called him with the exciting news and he informed me that she actually did this a couple times for him a few days ago and he must have forgotten to tell me... men.

Sorry for the prolonged silence and lack of recent pictures. My laptop is on the fritz, with the pictures tucked safely (I hope) inside. Maybe someday I will rescue them. In the meantime I am taking it one day at a time as Trevor has been working a lot and Fletcher is going through a SUPER CLINGY phase (at least I am hoping it is a phase).

Along with his clingy-ness, Fletcher has been throwing the biggest temper tantrums when I leave him alone in a room, especially at night when I go upstairs to put Audrey to bed. I mean cry-and-scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-till-you're-sweaty-and-snotty-and-hoarse tantrums. They have been pretty intense for the last month or so, but have gotten particularly unbearable since his surgery (adenoids and ear tubes) a few weeks ago followed by an out-of-town trip for me. Don't know if either of these things are related to the severity and frequency of the tantrums, or completely coincidence. Because he is non-verbal, I can't tell if he is just displeased that I am tending to Audrey over him, or if he is legitimately scared when I leave the room (after all, I am his arms, legs, and voice). I want to treat him as normally as possible, which includes disciplining him when appropriate, but I also want to respect any legitimate anxiety he may be feeling. It is really a tough line to toe.

4 comments:

Katy said...

The temper tantrum thing is difficult. Would it be possible to take him with you upstairs while you tend to Audrey? I'm just throwing out suggestions. Charlie is clingier now as well. To the point where if he hears you walk down the hall and you don't come to see him, then he gets upset.

I often look a neurotypical kids in complete awe--their movements are completely different. In my eyes, it's not just stiffness or weakness, it's as if they have a completely different type of body. I especially notice how MUCH typical kids move. Charlie is very still and typical kids/babies are in constant motion.

While I'm sure it's tough to see Fletcher get passed up, I bet it's also kind of exciting to see a child develop and to not have to fight for it. A completely new experience. Or maybe it's just me that thinks it would be exciting? Haven't been there so I don't know.

therextras said...

Your last two sentences show a real dilemma. Every tantrum is a judgment call and requires extra energy. Trying to figure out what you will do the next time, before it happens - differently or not - sometimes requires less energy. You follow the path previously decided upon.

I do think clingy is a phase more often than not; longer for some than others; shorter when new skills emerge.

I hope you enjoy Audrey's development without guilt. Who she is does not take anything away from who he is. Barbara

Cheryl said...

Luke went through a rough patch for the first few months the babies were home too. He was waking up a 4:45 am because he knew I would go and lay down with him, more temper tantrums as well, but he is also a 2 yr old and I'm convinced that was/is still part of it. I know EXACTLY how you feel about seeing a typically develpoing child. It's amazing isn't it? Hang in there, sounds like you're doing a great job!! Take care

Jessica said...

Glad to see an update. I'm so behind in blogging and keeping up with everyone else. I can totally relate to the tantrum thing. In preparation for the new baby we have been trying to really work on Paxson's independance for the last 4 months. Prior to that we pretty much held him all the time but he is doing better at sitting in his tumbleform or on the coach. I also struggle with how to define a tantrum, Often times I dont know if he is actually in physical pain or just pissed off because we arent doing what he wants. I think you are right about finding the balance in discipline vs. nurturing. I was thinking that Pax was way too young to be disciplined but its really funny because Robert has used a stern voice with him on a few occasions and he has responded very positively, it really surprised me. If you get it all figured out, please let me know!